let's get real:: you are enough

The ever wise (and fabulous) planner Rhi of Hey Gorgeous Events wrote a beautiful, honest post last week that really hit home for me.

Leah is a perfect example of focusing on what matters. She inspires me DAILY to just let go. New followers? More weddings? More overtime in the office? More superficial being? Hell no. Ain’t nobody got time for that. . . Success so often is what everyone else makes it out to be. Success to some is more followers, more features, 25 weddings a year, more comments on a post, more money, more friends, more more more. . . More is further away from enough and the only way you’re going to live a fulfilled, happy and meaningful life is to define your own version of success. Write it down. Memorize it.
— Rhiannon Banda, Hey Gorgeous Events

Her words particularly strike me because she's absolutely someone I look to (from afar, on the other side of this online looking-glass) as a person who's got it ALL together. She's gorgeous, has a successful event planning company, creates beautiful work, is happily married, has two precious pets and a stunning home... She seems to be everywhere that pretty things are and captures them all beautifully for the world to see. So how, I ask myself, in the world is she not completely 1000% thrilled and fulfilled every waking moment?!!?! Well, Kelly, she's human. Like you. Like every other planner, wife, daughter, friend, homeowner, apartment owner, person.

I haven't been a business owner or a wife for very long yet. I'm a newlywed and just started this company in January 2013. (That's correct. Three months ago.) But in my limited experience, it's really easy to look at other people and think, "Man, they've got it all figured out." And think, "Man, I really don't have even a clue." We're all working through this life together. We're all at different stages of life, trudging forward, making decisions as best we can, hoping to do whatever it will take for us personally to succeed.

It's so easy to think, If I had _______, I'd be happy. We set goals to reach things that we see other people doing and reaching, and even when we get them, we're not happy. Because those goals don't matter. Those THINGS don't matter. I love what Rhi says about "'More' is further away than 'enough.'" When we focus on what MORE we can have and do and reach, we're no longer content with exactly where we are.

Words of wisdom from Lara Casey.

Words of wisdom from Lara Casey.

When I was a college freshman struggling with depression and disordered eating, my counselor made me recite to myself, "Who I am and what I have is enough." I had been panicking about my uncontrollable tendency to binge-eat after a year's worth of starving myself. A full year of excruciatingly limiting everything that went into my mouth had taken its toll, and finally my body was fed up with being starved. So anytime I'd go home (the place where I permitted myself to eat actual meals, because it was good food and therefore "worthwhile"), I would stuff myself to the point of feeling physically ill. My body's natural urge was to store up on as much food as I could get in one sitting, because it didn't know when it would get food again. It was extremely hard getting past that cycle once I did start eating normally again. My body had to reset its starvation mode buttons and re-learn how to process and consume normal healthy meals, and it took time.

All that is to say, I had to be reminded that my daily bread was enough. Instead of flip-flopping to the reverse of the abuse I'd put myself through initially (by bingeing), I had to convince myself that whatever meal before me would be enough to sustain me. And remind myself that in the meantime, I personally was enough too. I didn't need to go to some crazy extreme. I didn't need more more more of anything to make myself feel whole and happy.

Isn't it funny how some lessons follow us throughout our lives? We overcome some struggles, but then the same themes come back over and over again.

So, here's a reminder for you and me:  You are enough. You have enough, and you are enough.