pigeon:: a personal post

I try not to get too terribly personal in KDE blogging, but from time to time I just have to write in stream of consciousness and figure out things about life.  Also, disclaimer - do not be offended by my absolutely BLATANT stereotyping. That's the whole point; none of us fit any exact stereotype. Exhibit A:

In my natural habitat -- behind-the-scenes with my fave, Spindle Photography.

In my natural habitat -- behind-the-scenes with my fave, Spindle Photography.

I love pigeonholing myself into categories of people, I've found. I try on different hats (the scholar, the cheerleader, the sorority girl, the church girl, the yoga hippie, the fashionista, the actress, the lawyer, the wedding industry maven, the prepster, the traveler, the homebody, the homemaker, the all-American, the Southern belle, the beach bum, the glamour girl, to name a few...) and try to smush my entire existence into one particular mold and see how that fits me. I seriously do this all the time. I'm in a constant state of self-discovery, comparison with others (who do I fit in with?), and experimenting with new sides of my personality. Because apparently I'm a little schizophrenic when I try to narrow things down.

I was high school valedictorian, but I didn't do honors or grad school or really care about propagating that reputation past my freshman year of college. Not that I think I'm suddenly stupid (I probably think I'm way smarter than I actually am, to be honest...if there's one thing I'm egotistical about, it's my spelling skills and my perception of my ability level to learn things when I apply at them)... I just didn't care about being KNOWN exclusively as "the smart one" like I was in high school. It was great, yes, but I prefer creative outlets where being smart is definitely beneficial, but I can have more fun than just studying and applying facts to real life.

I'm definitely in large part a sorority girl -- I ADORED my three years of sorority life at Belmont, am a relatively active alumna, and my sweet sisters who are still active occasionally stroke my ego by telling me that my name comes up in conversation still, despite me graduating two years ago. (LEGACY! How sweet!) I definitely made it a priority to know the younger girls as I began to phase out, and it's paid off. I still have relationships and I'm not completely irrelevant in my extended sorority family, despite the age gap. WOOHOO! But as far as stereotypical sorority girls are concerned, I'm not rich, stunningly gorgeous, or a party girl (well, not THAT kind of party girl). I try not to be too cliquey or mean, but I do still have a (slightly obsessive) fondness for Lilly Pulitzer prints and preptastic taste. Despite my affections for J Crew, though, I don't always wear pastels, I have ZERO polos, and a lot of my attire is comfy (leggings, knit jersey dresses, boots or coral sandals, and a ton of cardigans) rather than chic (although I try).

I definitely am an active churchgoer, try to bring up my faith on a pretty consistent basis in conversation now, and am part of a small group. For some large part, I guess, I fit the mold of the Southern church lady -- dressing up, wearing pearls, staying conservative. But really this stereotype has changed on its own (young church ladies are all across the board -- no longer just WASPs!). So I guess it's not one that I really fit, either.

I'm obsessed with hot yoga and go consistently, I'm attending yoga teacher training this summer, and I'm all about lululemon... but I don't have the budget to spend hundreds of bucks on workout clothes, I'm not vegan, I like wearing makeup and never miss a class without wearing my pearl earrings, I don't smoke pot and I couldn't care less for kombucha or coconut water... so there goes that "type." No solid hippie life for me. But I also can't do away with it completely, either. Hmm.

As far as dressing up and glamorizing goes, I like to do this as much as humanly possible. Does this mean you'll never catch me without makeup? No. (Perhaps I'll still be wearing mascara, but SOMETIMES I do leave the house bare-faced. Seriously.) Am I always wearing jewelry? Not unless you count my diamond engagement and wedding rings and pearl earrings (ok, so I guess those count...). Would I wear red lipstick every day if it didn't smudge so much? Ok, yes... (I've worn it to hot yoga before.) Am I wearing a dress 90% of the time? Probably... Okay, so maybe this one is the most suited to me. But it's not like I wear designer anything (besides Lilly -- which I get as presents or ebay finds!). I have literally ZERO expensive handbags or shoes, besides my Frye boots which I ALSO got on ebay!

Acting and law were NOT for me. Wedding planning and design is totally up my alley, but I haven't discovered all my creative outlets yet. I love being creative (sewing, writing, singing, dreaming, designing parties, styling outfits and tablescapes, baking, cooking, dancing)... but there's untapped potential I have yet to discover! I can't just call myself a wedding planner and leave it there.

My traveling and homebody tendencies are at odds, too. I love travel, but I have to be with somebody. A close somebody, like my best girlfriend or my husband. Or my mother, of course. I'm even fine traveling alone as long as I'm meeting up with somebody once I get where I'm going. I have yet to be able to fully enjoy being completely alone in unfamiliar territory. I'm just so outgoing/relational.

I don't know if I could ever cut it as a complete beach bum -- I burn too easily, apparently, and I'm a little too modest to traipse around in a skimpy bikini as "clothes." I'm fine doing it at a resort or if I'm just at the beach, but I ALWAYS have some semblance of a coverup with me JUST IN CASE. I'd be totally open to challenging this judgment, though, given the chance to move to the beach!

The Southern Belle in me coincides with the glamorizing part, I think. I would hope this is the most in tune with who I am:  sweet, kind to others, hospitable, knows how to take care of a home, prioritizes her Southern Baptist-ness, loves the hot climate and her heritage, values her sorority life, adores the [Southeastern coastal] beach, makes a mean sweet tea (ok, Drew had to teach me that one, but still...), is never without mascara or lipstick or pearls, wears dresses at every occasion but has a handy pair of boots and dark-wash jeans for the farm... Values throwing a big-a** Delta wedding (albeit, mine missed out on the ice sculptures and topiaries of reknown). Hosts a party at every occasion humanly possible (CHECKMATE). 

I suppose that's as pigeonholed as I can get. Fine by me:)